Silver Rose
by PixieRedd
Summary: Set after COLS, the fire inside Jace has left . One day, Jace received a letter from Clary, telling him that she didn't love him anymore and that she was leaving. The real reason for Clary's departure was actually the disease that is slowly killing her. Four years later, she returns, but Jace has clearly moved on. What will happen how that Clary has returned, and for what reason?
1. Prolouge: Part 1

**A/N: This is my first fanfiction since I deleted all of my stories… so I hope you enjoy it **

She remembered the first time she noticed it. The patch of silver in her red hair, the flecks of it in her green eyes. She knew then what she had to do, because it would kill them if they knew. Especially _him. _Yes. She knew she had to do it, even if it broke her heart in the process. She picked up a piece of paper and a pen from the nightstand and begun to write.

Clary woke up from her dream with a start. Sweat framed her face, and she got up from her small bed. She walked over to the mirror, carefully avoiding the piles of dirty clothes on the floor. She reached it, looking up at her own reflection. The poison had changed her so quickly, turning her fiery red hair a bright silver. Her skin had become paler, and she had become very skinny. The only thing that remained to remind her of her old self was her green eyes- only a few flecks of silver had infected them. Her cheekbones were more prominent, because the poison made it difficult to keep down food, slowly starving her. She sighed, reaching into a drawer to pull out a tight black tank top. She pulled on some skinny jeans, and a long knit cardigan. She turned back once, looking into the mirror for a final time. She hated what she had become, what was slowly killing her.

Today she was going back to the Institute after five years. She hoped nobody recognised her, because that was why she left. She knew that her illness would bring great sadness and destruction, so she had gone before she had to tell anybody. She didn't even tell her mother- she just packed up and left for California. She picked up her sunglasses, her small purse, and left her small, safe and secure apartment, ready to face whatever was to come.

**So….I know it was short, but it was the prologue! So, recap: Clary left because she has an illness (more to be found out later….) without telling anyone why, except a short note to Jace. And why does Clary have to come back to the Institute? Heheee stay tuned to find out… :D. If I get 5 reviews I'll post the first chapter tomorrow ;) **


	2. Prolouge: Part 2

He remembered receiving that letter on his pillow. He'd memorised exactly what it said, reading it over at least a thousand times.

_Dear Jace,  
I don't really know how to say this.  
I know that we've been through a lot.  
I know you probably love me more than you should.  
And if I could have done this any other way, I would.  
I feel trapped here Jace. None of this is what I wanted,  
Being a shadowhunter, having stupid magical rune powers,  
Falling in love with you.  
Only, I don't love you anymore Jace. I'm so sorry, I just don't.  
By the time you've read this, I'll be gone. Please don't try to find me.  
It will just make this harder for me. You need to move on.  
Find someone prettier than me, someone that deserves you.  
Tell my family, your family and Simon that I love them,  
And this was just something I needed to do.  
I hope you never see me again, Jace Lightwood.  
Goodbye,  
Clarisssa Fray_

At first, he thought it was some sick joke that Isabelle or maybe Magnus had played on him. But he ran downstairs nevertheless, and barged into Clary's room in the Institute. It was bare, as if she'd never been there. But then something shiny caught his eye, and upon further inspection he realized what it was. The Morgenstern ring he'd given her. He still didn't want to believe it. But as he returned to his room, heartbroken, he noticed that everything of Clary's had gone from his room too. The picture of the two of them had as well. By that time, he'd just collapsed against the wall, head in hands, until Alec had found him. Jace wouldn't talk about anything. He just stared at the wall in his room. Isabelle had come up to try to get the problem out of him, and was unsuccessful until finding the crumpled piece of paper beside Jace.

The next day Maryse had met with Jocelyn and Luke, telling them about the letter and Clary's departure. Jocelyn was heartbroken, as was he, and asked to see him- to which he replied no. He didn't want to be reminded of her beautiful green eyes or her fiery red hair. It reminded him of how he had had his heart ripped out by the one he loved most in the world.

It had taken months, but finally Jace had come out of his room. He went to parties with Isabelle and Alec, talked to girls and killed demons. Just like it had been before _she_ had left. He knew Alec was worried about him, so he made an effort for his brother's sake. He never stopped missing her, but sometimes his pain turned into anger. How could she leave him after everything that had happen to them? How could she destroy him like that? But soon he had learnt to hide his pain, hurt and anger. He'd put up a wall around himself, not letting anyone else close to him. He vowed he'd never let himself be so vulnerable, to be broken again. She'd done this to him. __

_**Okay, so I know I said five reviews, but I couldn't help myself :D. SO, five reviews for the ACTUAL next chapter… hahahaaaa xxxx**_


	3. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews! :D Sorry if there were any grammatical errors or anything, :/ and yes Jace moves on with another girl, as it is shown in this chapter…:)**

Clary arrived in New York at about midday. When she stepped out of the cab and breathed in the familiar City air, she realized just how much she had missed this place. She didn't know why Maryse had gotten in contact with her, just that she had said that Clary's presence was needed this week in the Institute and that she was welcome to stay for a couple of days. Clary had absolutely no idea how she had possibly gotten her phone number, and at first she wasn't going to come. But Maryse had sounded urgent, so that had decided things. She was hoping that Jace didn't live in the Institute anymore, so that she could avoid seeing him again. But, things didn't really always turn out how Clary Fray hoped.

She looked up at the gothic building. A slight chill went up her back, and she shivered. She walked along the pathway, dreading what was to come. As she entered the elevator, she rummaged through her bag to find her vial of silver powder. She shook a few drops of it into her palm, and then stuffed it into her mouth. The familiar sweet substance made her want to vomit, but she held it down. Clary felt her pupils dilate for a second, and then go back to normal. There. That should last for a couple of days, she thought. She shook out her straight silver hair, and took a deep breath.

Maryse was stood, immaculate in a dark suit, outside the elevator doors. Clary plastered a smile onto her face as the doors opened and watched Maryse's blue eyes widen at her appearance.  
"Clary, what happened to you?" She blurted out uncharacteristically. Maryse was always smooth, and always knew what to say. Clary stepped out, and crossed her arms across her chest.  
"I dyed my hair," She lied smoothly. If there was one skill Clary had perfected in the last four years, it was lying. Maryse nodded, as if this was an acceptable reply. She still looked a bit suspicious, though. Clary supposed it was because she looked very slim, and there were dark circles under her eyes.  
"You look like you've not eaten in months," She replied, sweeping her eyes upon Clary. Clary shrugged, and stared coolly at Maryse. She knew Maryse was holding back a flood of questions, and Clary really didn't want to answer them. Maryse seemed to gather this, and lead the way to the library.  
"So, why am I here Maryse?" Clary asked, sitting down in a leather armchair. Church the cat leapt up on to her lap and purred, closing his eyes. She stroked his soft fur as Maryse sat opposite her.  
"So I gather you have no idea why I summoned you?"

Jace walked down the stairs of the Institute with Serena behind him. She was hammering on about some rubbish he really couldn't care less about, so he absently nodded his head a few times. When they reached the hallway, Serena put her hands on her hips and pouted at him.  
"Jacey, you're not _listening_ to me!" She whined. He wanted to punch her in the perfect pouty lips for that nickname, but instead he kissed her. Mainly to shut her up.  
"I'm sorry, babe. But your so distracting," He said. It was true, to some extent. Serena Lovelace was a hot girl. She had platinum blonde straight hair, and wide blue eyes. She also adorned a fake orange tan that really didn't do her many favours. But her _personality. _Sometimes he wanted to jump in front of a bus to stop hearing her winy voice. Her looks weighed out her qualities, though, so he just tuned her voice out most of the time. She was just a fling, but she didn't really know that yet. She was a new shadowhunter living in the Institute for a couple of months, so as soon as she was leaving, Jace would move onto another girl. Isabelle despised Serena, and the feeling was mutual, apparently. Serena took his hand, and together they walked into the library. Maryse was talking to a woman who had her back to him, but she had silver hair, which was quite unusual. It was quite hot, actually. Maryse stood up suddenly at seeing him, and she looked deeply regretful. Slowly, the woman with silver hair stood up, and turned around. First, he noticed how petite she was, which was cute. Then he noticed that he could see her ribs, she was that thin. As he looked up at the girls face, his heart stopped. Because it was her.  
"Clarrisa Morgenstern." He said sarcastically. Inside he was breaking, because she looked so awful that he wanted to wrap her in his arms and look after her. But, as usual, he buried his emotions and channelled his inner sarcastic, angry-at-the-world act. He glared at her, when really all he wanted to do was kiss her. Serena glared at her too, because she remembered his vague account of Clary. To say it was flattering was an extreme understatement. Clary looked sick, as if running into him wasn't planned.  
"_This_ is the looser that dumped _you?" _Serena spat, and without warning, she leapt on Clary like one would a piece of meat if one were a hungry lion.

**Well I'm actually quite pleased with how this turned out! I'm sorry if it's a bit of a cliffie, but I PROMISE the next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow. Again, I couldn't help myself from giving you another chapter… it's addictive : D so thanks and remember: R-E-V-I-E-W please! xxxxxx**


	4. Chapter 2

Clary stared at Jace's face. She hadn't seen him for four years, and not one day had gone by where she hadn't missed him or thought about him. He hadn't changed much, but he had gotten taller. He stared back at her with a sarcastic and angry expression, and she felt sick. He resented her, and she felt like crying. She didn't notice the other girl until she had leapt on her. Clary heard the sickening crack of her ribs as she made contact with the hard floor. Crazy-girl grabbed a handful of her soft silver hair and slammed Clary's skull into the floor. She saw stars for a moment, and was vaguely aware of a throbbing pain in her left arm. Then she became extremely angry, because she realized this was probably Jace's girlfriend. They'd held hands as they entered the room. Clary fought against the bigger girl, but the illness had made her much weaker than before. Still, an adrenaline rush shot through her as she shoved crazy-girl off of her- hard.

Jace turned to Serena as she spoke, but the blonde was already launching herself at Clary. He could see Clary didn't see it coming, and he heard the cracking of her ribs as Serena's body hit her. He winced, and was about to drag Serena off Clary when his girlfriend grabbed Clary's hair and smashed her skull against the floor. He yelled at Serena and tried to grab her, but Clary shoved her of and collapsed on the floor. He restrained Serena, because he knew from her expression on her face that she was waiting to get another piece out of Clary. But then Isabelle and Alec burst into the room- probably hearing the commotion. All of the Lightwoods, Maryse, Isabelle and Alec, rushed over to Clary, who was holding her ribs in pain. He wanted to go over to her, to hold her and make her feel better, but he decided not to. Instead her left, dragging Serena out with him.

Isabelle burst into the room, hearing lots of yelling. Then he saw Jace-restraining Serena- and a small girl on the floor. Maryse quickly rushed to her and so did Isabelle and her brother.  
"Who is she?" Isabelle asked, taking in the silvery hair. It was actually pretty cute. She winced when she saw the bruise forming on the girls face.  
"It's Clarrisa Morgenstern, Isabelle." Her mother replied, helping the girl up. No way was this Clary.  
"Excuse me, but I thought you just said this was _Clary._ As in, the redhead who left four years ago," She said sarcastically to her mother. But Isabelle noticed that her brother had gone very still. And then, finally, Isabelle took a proper look at the girl. She saw the pretty bright green eyes, with flecks of silver in them. And Isabelle nearly had a heart attack.  
"By the Angel, it _is_ Clary…" She gasped. Then suddenly, she pulled Clary into a tight hug. Isabelle had missed the girl, surprisingly. Clary let out a surprised yelp of pain. Isabelle let go of her, and reached into her pocket for her stele. She gently took hold of Clary's arm and was about to draw an _Iratze _on her arm when Clary flinched back. Isabelle, wounded, said to her,  
"Gosh, I was only going to put a healing rune on you, not murder you. Hold still," She said. Clary flinched back when Isabelle tried to draw an _Iratze_ on her arm. She didn't want to explain that her disease disabled the runes powers, so she shook her head at Isabelle.  
"No. It-it's fine. I'm fine." She said, smiling at Isabelle. When, in fact, she guessed she probably had three broken ribs, a fractured wrist and she _knew_ that she had a killer headache. Alec seemed uncertain, Isabelle shrugged, and Maryse looked at her suspiciously again. Clary smiled again, and hugged Isabelle, trying to avoid contact with her ribs. Isabelle hugged her back enthusiastically, and looked at her hair.  
"What happened to you, Clary? I mean, I appreciate the new look, but how did you do it without me?" She asked, confused. Clary laughed, and realized how much she had missed the other girl.  
"I'll tell you later. But would you first mind telling me who that crazy girl who just attacked me was?" Clary asked, rubbing her head. Isabelle looked uncertain for a moment, before replying:  
"That was Serena Lovelace… she's Jace's girlfriend." Isabelle said. Clary took a deep breath and tried for a smile. It satisfied her that Isabelle said Serena's name with disgust.  
"Yeah. She's a crazy b-" Isabelle begun, but after receiving a scorching look from her mother, she shut up.  
"Isabelle Lightwood! Don't even think about it," She said sternly. Isabelle rolled her eyes.  
"Whatever. Anyways, she's a crazy _witch._" Isabelle said, emphasizing the last word. Maryse raised her eyebrow at her daughter, and turned to Clary.  
"I shall be speaking to Miss Lovelace, Clarrisa. You don't need to worry about her. And we will carry on with the conversation that we were having tomorrow. Would you like to meet with your mother?" Maryse asked her. Guilt immediately coursed through her, but she shook her head and looked at the floor.  
"Maybe tomorrow," She replied. Maryse nodded and left the room, presumably to speak to Serena. Then Isabelle grabbed Clary's arm and bounced up and down.  
"We're going to Taki's, like right now! We need to catch up!" She said, grinning. Clary laughed, nodding.  
"Okay, just let me clean up first and change." She said. "I brought some clothes with me so…?"  
Isabelle took her arm and steered her up the stairs and lead her to her old room in the Institute.  
"Put something nice on," Isabelle whispered, winking, and with that she left the room. Clary sighed, sitting on the familiar bed. She looked around the empty room and remembered packing up everything and leaving. A tear dripped down her cheek, and she wiped it on the corner of her cardigan sleeve. She lifted her tank top up revealing the ugly purple bruises forming on her stomach and ribs. She touched them tensely, and winced. The good thing about her medication- even if it wasn't a cure- was that it was a great painkiller, for both physical and emotional pain. Also, it kept her from crashing, and being completely immobile. Clary shook some of the powder into her hand again, and downed it. For a few seconds she felt nauseas, but then she got up, lifted her small bag onto the bed and opening it. She emptied the contents onto the bed, and went through the pile. She picked out a fresh pair of dark skinny jeans, and a white camisole. She pulled a white knit sweater over her head and took a pair of gold heels out of her bag. She looked in the mirror, and smiled slightly. Her sense of fashion had definitely improved over the last four years. She brushed her silvery hair- which fell down her shoulders is soft waves- out, and then slid in a clip to keep it out of her eyes. She put a _tiny_ bit of makeup, mainly to hide the purple bruise forming on her cheek, and her split lip. When she was done, it proved a mere improvement. Well, what can be done, she thought to herself. She grabbed her purse, exited the room, and collided with _Jace._

**Whahaahaa, another evil cliffie! Please review and tell me what you think of the chapter/story and ways to improve it? Thanks! If I get enough of these I **_**might**_** upload another chapter tonight. **_**Might.**_** And I'm sorry for the wait for this chapter! And, I've decided that Clary's disease is along the same lines as Jem's from Infernal Devices, but I'm not sure of everything about it, so I've made up a few things. Remember, R&R pleeeease! xxxxxxx**


	5. Chapter 3

As Clary collided with Jace's solid body, everything fell out of her purse, including her vial of silver powder. Jace glared at her, but bent down to help her collect everything. Clary pushed him when he picked up the vial of silver powder to inspect it. She knocked him to the floor, and he was clearly surprised. She stood up quickly and hid the vial behind her back.  
"Oh my- I'm so sorry," She blurted out, holding out her pale arm for him to take. He stood up without taking her hand, and just stared at her- without glaring. Clary stared back at him for a moment before looking down.  
"What? Do I have something on my face?" She said, breaking the silence. Jace rolled his eyes, and took a step closer to her.

"Why are you here Clarissa?" He asked her, searching her face. Her green eyes stared back at him, and for the first time he noticed the silver flecks in them. They weren't there before, he thought to himself. Suddenly, he remembered a conversation they'd had shortly before Clary had left.

_Jace sat on his bed, Clary on his lap playing with his golden hair. He laughed, and kissed her. She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. They kissed for what seemed hours, but was probably about 5 minutes, when suddenly Clary spoke and pulled away from him.  
"Jace?" She asked, staring up into his golden eyes. He made a lazy sound that vaguely sounded like a 'yes'.  
"Do you…ever think about the future? About _our_ future?" She said, biting her lip. He sighed and rolled his eyes.  
"Clary, do we really have to have this conversation now?" He'd asked, reaching down to kiss her. But she pulled back, a wounded expression on her face.  
"Yes! We do, Jace!" She'd said, a tear trickling down her face. He laughed, and said:  
"Well. I do think about it. And I hope our kids have your eyes," Jace had said, pulling her close. She let out a burst of laughter that to him, sounded like delicate bells ringing.  
"Okay. I love you," She'd said to him, and then she'd kissed him. _

Only she hadn't, he reminded himself. His heart went cold suddenly, and he stepped away from her, his arms behind his back.  
"Well?" He asked sharply. She winced at his sudden harsh tone, and he regretted it. For a moment.  
"I don't know. Maryse started talking to me about something, but then your physco girlfriend attacked me." She said, staring at him with cold eyes. He laughed humourlessly, because he didn't find it funny at all.  
"Serena's quite…something, isn't she? Especially in-" He began, before being cut off by Clary.  
"Please, don't say it. I really don't want that mental picture," She said, turning to go. He rolled his eyes, and glared at her.  
"Where are you going all dressed up? Another heart to break?" He asked her sarcastically. She turned around sharply, pain evident in her eyes.  
"I'm going to Taki's with Isabelle, though it's not any of your business." She replied, folding her arms across her chest.  
"So am I. The joys," He muttered. She frowned at him obviously not hearing his words, and he watched her back retreat down the hallway. When he was out of eyeshot, he leant against the wall for support, closing his eyes.  
"Jacey!" Yelled a shrill voice, "You'll, like, never guess what Maryse just said to me. She went all, like, superior on me," She whined. Jace resisted the urge to groan at her presence.  
"Well, you can't just assault someone and get away with it. And Maryse _is_ superior to you." He replied, checking his watch. Serena put a perfectly manicured hand on her hip and pouted.  
"I did it for you, Jacey. Because of what that-" She started to say, but Jace quickly kissed her and dragged her down the stairs.  
"Come on, babe. We're going to be late."

Clary met with Isabelle at the elevator, and they walked the short distance to Taki's together. When they arrived they were seated in a booth, and the two girls sat opposite each other. Then, Isabelle told her that Jace was meeting them there.  
"_What?_" Clary exclaimed. She did _not_ want to see him after their rather awkward conversation.  
"Well-" Isabelle started to say, but she was interrupted by an annoyingly girly voice.  
"We're here. Let the party start," the voice said. Clary looked up sharply, and her eyes met with a pair of sickeningly blue ones. Eyes that held an alarming predatory glint. Clary shrunk back against the wall without even noticing. Jace stood next to Serena, their hands entwined. Serena turned to Isabelle, and pointed at her.  
"You. Move. I want to sit next to my _boyfriend_," She said, aiming the word at Clary. Isabelle laughed, and lounged out on the booth seat, flashing her the finger.  
"Bring it, blondey." She mouthed to Serena. Serena was about to jump on Isabelle and probably try to rip out her hair, but Jace held her back. He then slid in to the seat beside Clary. Serena, still standing and open mouthed, stared at Jace.  
"What are you _doing_?" She exclaimed. Jace laughed easily.  
"Babe, chill. They're obviously not going to move, so just sit next to Isabelle." He said, picking up a menu. With reluctance, Serena sat next to Isabelle, though trying to be as far away from her as humanly possible. Clary felt a secret joy at sharing a seat with Jace, and tried to ignore the glares that Serena- who sat opposite her- flung her way.

Clary didn't order any food, because she knew it would just make her ill. Instead she ordered a banana milkshake, which she would probably regret later. The others all ordered food, though, and Isabelle questioned her about her lack of eating. Clary said the first thing that came to her head, which wasn't smart at all.  
"I'm on a diet." She said. Isabelle nearly spat out her food, Serena looked horrified, and Jace stared at her like she had grown another head.  
"There's hardly anything of you," He said, looking up and down her body. She blushed and mentally smacked herself.  
"I-" She was about to make up some insane and probably the tiniest bit believable story, when she felt hot liquid dripping down her face. She screeched, because it was _hot. _Jace grabbed a napkin and begun wiping her face, and then it clicked into place as she saw Isabelle holding Serena in a headlock and her empty coffee cup on the table. Clary pushed Jace away from her, and rushed out of the booth and into the bathrooms. When she looked into the mirror she saw that her hair was soaked in coffee and her face was a tad burnt. She growled in frustration, and she resisted- just barley- the urge to run out of the bathroom and smash Serena's pretty face into the floor. But instead she just decided to play it cool. And she did just that. She walked up to their booth, where Isabelle was yelling at Serena and Jace was fiddling with a napkin, eyes down. Clary leant over Jace, grabbed her bag and was about to leave when she felt a cool hand grip her pale arm. Jace looked up at her with concern.  
"I'm fine," She said breezily, "though the same can't be said about you. Where did you find this one?" Clary asked, pointing to a pinned down Serena, "A mental institute?" At this Serena blushed a deep crimson, Isabelle let out a honk of laughter and Clary left Taki's, a satisfied smile on her face.

**I'd like to begin by thanking everyone who added this story to their favourites and everyone who reviewed! I'm not sure if I'm too happy with this chapter, mostly because I wasn't able to include much about Clary's disease, but I want to ask: when do you think Jace should find out about the disease? Next chapter or the one after it? **

**Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed, all of them made me smile! :D xxxx**


	6. Chapter 4

**Eeeeek! I'm SO SO SO sorry I haven't updated in ages! This past week has been a bit busy lol… but here is the next chapter! **

Jace actually wanted to strangle Serena. Clary had come out of the bathroom, her hair sticky from the coffee, grabbed her purse and left. He stood up suddenly, and glared at Serena.  
"What is _with_ you?" He spat at her, and rushed out of Taki's. He arrived home in record speed, and rushed up the stairs into the hallway. He could see Clary, huddled against the wall of the hallway, and he ran over to her. As he got closer to her, he could see she had her hand to her nose, and blood trickled down it. She looked very faint, and she had gone even paler than she usually was. He knelt beside her, and put a hand on her shoulder.  
"Clary? Are you okay?" He asked her worriedly. She closed her eyes and gripped her nose tighter.  
"Jace…please, go." She whispered. He stared at her in confusion, before standing up and turning.  
"Whatever. I don't even-" He was about to make a sarcastic remark when he heard Clary gasp. He turned around just in time to see her puke. After a second, he realized that she had just thrown up blood. She fell to her knees and started choking. Jace rushed over to her, and stared at the puddle of  
blood on the floor, his eyes as wide as saucers.

Clary was vaguely aware of throwing up blood- another horrible effect of her disease- and then being carried. She closed her eyes, letting strong arms hold her, and she snuggled deep into them, welcoming the comfort. Then she was being lifted onto her soft bed, and her shoes were taken off. Gentle hands lifted the sheets over her body, and then finally she felt a hand tuck a strand of silver hair away from her clammy forehead. Clary let out a sigh and fell into a content sleep- something she hadn't had for four years.

Clary had passed out, and Jace had carried her to bed and tucked her in. He was freaking out by now. What was wrong with her? Didn't she know that this wasn't normal? He hadn't bought the story that she had fed to Maryse about dying her hair. She'd become seriously pale and thin. She was puking _blood_. Something strange was going on with Clary, and Jace intended to figure it out. Soon.

When Clary awoke, there was an insane pain in her head. She groaned, and got out of bed, stretching her stiff muscles. She walked over to the mirror mounted on the wall and cringed. It was becoming obvious that her disease was getting worse. When she leaned in closer she noticed that there were more silver flecks in her green eyes. She was becoming thinner and paler by the day. She really needed to get out of here, before the others noticed. But Clary knew she couldn't. She had to meet with Maryse and discuss something 'urgent'. If there was one thing Clary had learnt in the last few years, it was that every moment in her life was urgent. Her time was slipping away. But she was going to attend anyway, because that was the reason why she was here. She dragged a brush through her hair, pulled on a white, loose floral lace top and some dark jeans. She dabbed a small amount of makeup onto her face and left her room. She headed down the stairs, praying that she didn't see Jace after last night. She thought it had been incredibly sweet, but what if he thought differently? Lots of emotions coursed through her, but the most dominant was regret. Why did she ever leave him? She knew the answer to this question, but she pushed it away as she descended the stairs to the library where Maryse arranged to meet her. If she had imaged that her life could not get worse, she was seriously mistaken.  
"Ah, Clary. I'm glad you came," Maryse said when she saw Clary. She stood up and motioned for Clary to sit in the armchair next to the one she occupied. Maryse looked up at her and it was then that Clary noticed the deep circles under her eyes, similar to her own. She looked deeply troubled, Clary thought.  
"Maryse, what is it?" Clary asked gently. Maryse shook her head and took a deep breath.  
"It's your brother, Jonathan, Clarrisa. He's come out of hiding." Maryse said quietly. The world around Clary froze for a moment or two as she let this piece of information sink in. No. This couldn't be happening _now_. She was _dying_. Couldn't he have the decency to take over the world with his evil shadowhunters _after_ she'd died?  
"Clary, don't worry. The Clave are confident that we have a chance of winning a battle against his shadowhunters. But I received a letter for you this morning. I didn't read it." She said, handing Clary a scroll of parchment. Clary took it and hurriedly said her goodbye to Maryse, heading to her room. Once inside, she flopped on the bed and tore free the ribbon closing the scroll. Before she even read it she knew who it was from. It read:

_My Dearest Sister Clarissa,_

_I heard you left the Institute. I'm sure Jace wasn't too pleased, was he? He never was good enough for you, though. I know you told them the reason for your departure was not loving him anymore. As much as I would love to believe that, I know it's not true. I have eyes and ears everywhere, Clarissa. Even in California. An associate tells me you have been purchasing yin fen every month for the past four years. I know the true reason you left. You were infected with demon blood, and to keep you from dying you take yin fen frequently. You do know that it is killing you slowly, don't you, sister? I'm impressed you've survived for four years, though. Normally your kind of disease kills within two years. Death will come to you soon though sister. But not before you see me again. Ave __atque__vale, sister. Be prepared. I'm coming._

_Jonathan._

Clary gulped. He knew everything. She mentally smacked herself. Why hadn't she been more careful? She knew she had to tell the others, and warn them. But she couldn't risk being exposed. For now she had to figure out what she was going to do.

**It's a bit short but I'm working on the next chapter- in which Jace finds out about the disease. I hope you enjoyed it, and AGAIN I'm so sorry for not updating! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! xxxx**


	7. Chapter 5

**A/N: I love my readers so much and I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. Kind of lost my inspiration… but hopefully it's back now. **

Clary sat down in the armchair in the corner of her room heavily. She looked down at the letter for what seemed the hundredth time, and with disgust threw it forcefully to the other side of the room. She pulled up her knees and put her head in her hands. He knew. She should have been more careful, she thought to herself. He was coming for her. Clary got up and went over to her chest of draws and took out the vial of silver powder, shaking some into her hand and pouring it into her mouth. She picked up the letter and threw it into the burning fire, watching the flames devour the cream, expensive paper.

Jace leaned forward, inspecting the large volumes held on the shelves of the massive library. He brushed his long, scarred fingers gently over the spines of the books, narrowing his eyes to read the titles. And then, suddenly, his fingers brushed against a hard maroon volume with silver Latin writing on the front. Jace was very familiar with the language and he translated the title easily. Demon Poisons. Intrigued, he flicked through the first pages. When he got to the third chapter, he took the book and settled himself comfortably on the plush couch. And that was when he read it.

_*Nex's Poison*_

_The Greater Demon Nex's poison is one of the most lethal things to Shadowhunters. It causes suffering for the rest of the unfortunate's life, and there are only 6 documented cases of Nex Poison. The poison is almost extinct and virtually impossible to obtain. All of the documented cases sustained side effects as listed below:  
-Blood vomiting  
-The difficulty of digesting food  
-Severe bleeding from the nose  
-Hair turning a pale silver colour  
-Skin turning very pale  
-Fainting_

_And the last symptom the patient experiences is the eyes turning a silver colour. This is a sign that the body is getting ready to shut down after putting up with the killing virus for a long period of time. About a month after the eyes start to turn silver the patient subsequently dies. All 6 documented cases have died within four years of the poison entering the bloodstream. __THERE IS NO CURE FOR NEX POISEN._

Jace sat rigid in the chair. No. No, it was just a horrible coincidence. This was not happening to Clary. It just couldn't be. Raw pain ached in his chest, because he just knew. He knew that this was happening to her, and he couldn't stop it. She was going to die. Jace leapt up and dropped the book on the carpeted floor. He needed to see her, to comfort her. To tell her that everything was okay. He bolted from the library, and that was when he collided with her. Again.

He was distressed, she could tell. So was she. She wanted to cry. But when her frail body came into contact with his solid one, he crushed her in a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. Startled, Clary stood stiffly. Before he was being hostile, now he was hugging her?  
"I know. God, Clary. I know," He whispered into her hair. She felt a sense of release then. She had kept this secret for four years, and now someone finally knew. And it was the one person she wanted to confide in from the beginning. She melted into his embrace, wrapping her small arms around his neck, going up on her tiptoes. Jace murmured in her ear soothingly, but all she knew was that she wanted to kiss him. That was all she'd ever wanted, the entire time she was apart from him. So she did. She crushed her lips to his, and it felt like pure heaven. He kissed her neck, and lifted her up into his arms. She looked into his golden eyes, and saw pure love; something she knew was reflected in her very eyes. He stroked her hair, and for a second she forgot. She forgot about her brother and about all the things that were happening in her life. It was just her and Jace in the world. But then suddenly it all came back to her. She pulled back suddenly, startling Jace.  
"Clary-?" He started to say, but she cut him off.  
"Jace. It's Sebastian." She told him. That stopped him from trying to kiss her again.  
"What about him?" Jace asked easily. Suddenly Clary felt a burst of frustration.  
"_What about him?_ Maybe you've forgotten, but he's back! And he sent me a letter telling me he was coming for me! So _maybe_ that's kind of a problem!" She yelled. Jace stepped back from her, anger on his face.  
"Well maybe you could have _told_ me about it!" He spat.  
"Oh, so it's my fault now? Whilst you've been poking into my private business-"  
"Private business! Clary, your _dying_. That's why you left. Why couldn't you have just told me? How do you think I've been feeling, these past four years? Thinking that you didn't love me! You should have just come clean about everything!" He shouted. Clary glared at him, crossing her arms across her chest. But then suddenly she felt her anger evaporate, like mist.  
"You know what- I'm sorry, yeah. But I don't regret anything. I'm dying. I'll be gone soon, so what's the point of wasting my life thinking about what could have happened? I'm living in the moment now. Every little thing matters. I need you _now_, Jace. Just- please, stop hating me." She said, the last sentence coming out as a choked sob. Jace looked at her then, and brushed his hand across her cheek.  
"I could never hate you, Clarissa Fray. I love you more than life itself. And I'm never going to let Sebastian hurt you. Never, you hear me?" He said, wrapping his arms around her. She nodded, putting her slender arms around his soft neck.  
"I love you, Jace." She whispered in his ear.

**So sorry it's short, and so sorry I haven't updated! But I will try to update ASAP now! Promise! R&R please, let me know how I'm doing. **


	8. Chapter 6

"He can't get in here. I mean, he can't get in here, can he mom?" Isabelle- who was sat cross legged on the floor in front of the fire in the living room, said to her mother. All of them- Maryse, Robert, Magnus, Maia, Luke, Simon, Jocelyn, Isabelle, Alec, Jace and Clary- were holding an emergency meeting to discuss the matter of Sebastian. Clary hadn't seen Simon, her mother or Luke since her arrival back home, and it had been a very difficult conversation with them. Before she had left, she had written letters to each of them explaining her decision to live a normal, human life and get away for a few years. But it hadn't made explaining her sudden arrival any easier. But she had agreed to explain everything to them once their meeting was over.  
"He is a shadowhunter, Isabelle. Of course he can." Maryse replied, but, seeing Clary's expression, quickly added; "I've notified the Clave. They have been searching for Sebastian for a long time now, and they are using every resource to find him. They are debating the situation this minute, as a matter of fact." She said. That filled Clary with relief- even if it wasn't much. But her mother was looking at her with concern, and she knew that she had to come clean with them all now. Everyone was seated, so she stood up, and Jace stood behind her protectively. This instantly filled her with calm, and she knew she could do this.  
"Mom, Luke, Issy… everyone- I need to talk to you about something. Something really important." She began. Isabelle stood up, hearing the tension in her friend's voice. She put a concerned hand on Clary's arm.  
"What is it?" She asked gently. Her mother also stood up beside Isabelle.  
"You can tell us anything, sweetie."

At this moment Clary felt the full impact of everything she'd missed when she'd gone. She knew that she had missed Jace and his love, but she realised that she had missed so much more. Her mother's smile… Luke's protectiveness. With their worried faces showing concern and love, she knew that she wanted her last moments to be with these people, because they made her who she was. And she'd never felt stronger.  
"You might want to sit down."

There had been lots of tears and hugs, but Jace had been by her side the entire time. When she had felt too tired to carry on with her explanation, he took over for her. Her mother had trouble getting over the information that her daughter was dying, but Luke comforted her- even though he looked like he wanted to break down himself. Maryse and Robert comforted their children. Magnus said he'd fight for them against Sebastian, and he said that the warlocks were already on their side in the battle. Simon and Maia said the same thing. Jocelyn didn't want to let go of her daughter- literally, she had hold of Clary's hand the whole time. But gently, Clary persuaded her and all of the others to get some rest, and they listened. After about an hour, it was just her and Jace in her room.  
"Don't even think about it." Jace said, reaching his hand out to brush her hair back from her face.  
"Think about what?" Clary asked, closing her eyes and snuggling into his chest.  
"Telling me to leave and that you'll be fine." He said softly. She smiled then, eyes still closed.  
"I'll never leave you again." And then they fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms.

**I know it's short, but it was sweet ;) , I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, please review- it makes me smile ****. **


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